I exist in extreme, deafening and suffocating isolation, even though there are all these beings in existence and around me. I experience ultra unusual phenomenon, realizations, entities, frequencies, encounters, etc. that are of almost no awareness or relation to my so-called social counterparts. A reality that I can not run from (Although I did try for a few years. But that turned out to be futile and counter-productive.) I see hear, taste, smell, feel, sense, observe, challenge and decode what’s typically out of sight, mind, range and interest to most. Many have insisted that I am negative, narcissistic and even bipolar or schizophrenic. Ha! Of course they would. The stupid train never arrived in spite of the calculated ETA. Their elevator in the skyscraper of ascension and awareness is ir-repairably stuck on the 3rd floor and has never seen the likes of the 4th and beyond. They’re shaking in their anchored heavy ass boots hoping that what I reveal is a mere figment of my warped—-too-much-TV—-think-i’m-somebody-special imagination. Nothing can be further from the truth! And even if a person WAS any of these, that is not necessarily enough absolute grounds to deny and dismiss what they are trying to reveal to you. For most people, its just a cop out to avoid dealing with and facing the deeper realities among us. But I get it, i get it. Often times, even I myself foolishly desires to get rid of all this active consciousness if I could. But when I realize that I can’t, I just suit up and ride as I gotta. I’m often so glad that I didn’t when I am targeted and compelled to do so through the down times and attacks.

Being this way has its pros cons. Openly acknowledging and dealing with it often disturbs the frequency in a place intended for you to stay asleep, on stupid and enslaved. It is definitely not an egoists ode to self supremacy or a declaration of being a bad ass. Sometimes you just gotta roll strong with supreme confidence that exceeds what others can comprehend or get used to. Oft times one has to simply face the facts and refrain from modesty or counter-productive illusions of humility for the sake of pleasing the masses, doubters, scaredy-cats and gaslighters…. This is done for critical reasons that are unknown to and misinterpreted by those who are not wired with the knowing or doing their part in the ascension. But it is not just some sweet bag of verbal brag salad or a random nutcase fantasy mashup by a long shot.

My consciousness exists in a fucking vacuum and everything else around me, (excluding a small exception of things and beings) seems to be in a perpetually boot-looping disconnected black hole. There’s so much more to all this but I too often hide almost all percent of it because of the exhaustion of it being gaslit as negative and so much more nonsense. No, it’s not all in my head bitch! Being labeled everything but what I truly am. When truthfully, I KNOW the things I deal with are as real as it gets, no matter what they foolishly think. When people hear truths that scare them and/or are too heavy for them to bear or comprehend, They want so badly for you to be joking, crazy or imagining things! I’m also critically tired of disturbing others with my so-called dense and gross reality, filled with a ridiculously overbearing barrage of nonstop breakthroughs in consciousness, surreal events and all kinds of strange hidden forces and entities that are petty as fuck and won’t leave me (or the others) the fuck alone. I see so much it’s ridiculous, and everything I was conditioned to believe about what all this is and what it all means is a got damned lie. Or a half/incomplete, distorted and fragmented truth at best. It’s like my body is on earth in this crappy realm, but my consciousness has split off and is also trapped in another crappy parallel-merged superimposed realm with a totally different and contradicting set of realities and reasonings…. And this is NOT happening because of ‘mental problems’ or ‘ego’ or ‘pessimism’ or ‘disconnection from the demiurge (god)’. Not even close. Its because there is so much more to our reality and most just don’t care or have the capacity to be aware of this. But my in-compromisable nature just happens to be the exact opposite and has tapped into much more of it than the average. To take this on mostly or entirely alone is crucial, alienating and tiring, to say the least. But I continously learn to master and transcend these troubles. And I will continue to be victorious! Things like this often translates to mental health issues for those who don’t do their homework. Or for those afraid of this established disorder and choose to stay in line and advocate for it. Yes it gets super heavy for single beings to carry so much that is intended for so many more to help balance out the overload. Yet, on the flip side, there is exhilarating fascination, needed transformation and more, that inspires in glimpses, as one gets past the mass infrastructure of resistive forces that exist to hate and prevent our successful journey of ascension and completeness. There are constant efforts to fragment, disorient and distort. To inflict and exacerbate fear and discouragement in those of us who’s consciousness and effort begin to extend beyond the forces of this matrix. Many people are under the influence of these forces and used as some kind of vessel or portal/gateway. And when I say many….. Bruh… I MEAN MAAAANY. Once you find this out you will eventually grow to adjust with this being the case and constantly discover proper and corrective methods to deal with them. But I still catch myself falling subject to the intended negative effects of these non-forces and their imposed conditions. I haven’t mastered it yet. The pressure attempts to drive you to defeat, submission to unconsciousness, misery and  scatter programming.

Yet with a critical part of me, I keep bouncing back, shaking it and saying, “no way jack!” I sense and know that I am one, fully sane, and closer to the truth and the needed ascension than most physical and non-physical entities out here. What I am and the efforts I put in with my gifts and consciousness is part of what’s needed to push past this resistive force and may be the prerequisites to defeating it all together. I have become aware to the fact that some merger of multiple forces are generating a transparent matrix of inter-dimensional illusions and delusions. I have become aware of this along with a reasonable amount of how it operates. I have done this, like quite a few others against the will of the resistance, in a way that is organic, unusual and quite threatening, to say the least. But so far I cannot fully and accurately decrypt or break free of it. They have targeted me personally, on multiple levels, as they are enslaved to mindlessly do so to any of us who achieves in this way. As ‘time’ is passing and more of us snap out it, slicker techniques and more personalized targeting campaigns are being applied to remain in control, on top of the general targeting that has already been imposed on this realm and the beings within it. The trickless magicians hiding and hoarding their magic tricks. Like they were saving ’em and working on ’em, just in case this ever came up. And lo, it did! Through me and others. As it always has and will, no matter how much totalitarian control they’d like to make it seem like they have. Did they really think we wouldn’t show up? Anyway, at the moment, there is no clear and obvious reachable resolve to our condition and this entire struggle, by what seems to me to be intentional design. This is why there is still work to be done. And if the rest won’t take the baton in this relay. The few of us will and already have.

Some ‘things’ that were not supposed to be have emerged, merged and are running loose across the realms, creating anarchy. And nobody’s stopping them. Who Ok’d this psychotic mess? I must fight, but not sure I should or want to anymore. As intense as all this sounds and is, it’s so fucking petty to me and I’m tired of it all. PERIOD. I’d rather erase it all than to fight another moment. Until that’s possible, the next best thing is to keep going and try to fix this so that it is pleasant and reasonable to remain in existence without wicked interference! From the god level, it often makes me feel like a cosmic nigger slave, put in an arena or a digitized video game, to entertain and get some cosmic force’s rocks off. Similar to the archons of gnosticism. The same way my ancestors were often toyed with to fight and abuse themselves and each other for demonic white supremacist’s entertainment. and to be the lab rat for some demiurge gods demonic experimentation with consciousness, existence and life.